Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
