The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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