I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
