Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
