Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She said her name was "party"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
