I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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