This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
