I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
