Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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