we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My breasts were aching with rage.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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