You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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