she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm passing your future prison.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
