So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I AM VODKA MAN
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
