my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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