I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
