Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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