I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
