so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
