Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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