miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
