Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Are we still banned from the library?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
