I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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