My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
