Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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