Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
