I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
