yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
