My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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