I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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