So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The adults are the big ones right?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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