butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
