If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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