I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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