Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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