addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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