Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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