Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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