He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
