It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You pole danced in your parka.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
