I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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