I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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