let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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