He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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