Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
