the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The air was thick with penises
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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