the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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