In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
