We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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