You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
