Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
